This blog is a chance for us to tell our story and shine the light on the God who wrote it.

It is also a place for me to bring into the spotlight the millions of orphans around the world who are waiting for the Body of Christ to fulfill God's command to "care for orphans and widows in their distress" (James 1:27)

Soli deo Gloria... (All Glory to God Alone).

4.15.2011

Everything in Here is Crazy

Well, as you have probably guessed by now, S did not freak out. I decided to tell him on our car ride to see family over the weekend since the kids would be engrossed in their books or DVDs. And he didn't freak out. His attitude was that if God is calling us to this, then He would make that clear and take care of everything. I was so sure he would freak out that it freaked me out that he didn't freak out. I handled it all very maturely by telling him he was crazy and climbing into the back seat to hang out with slightly more sane people. At which point, I kid you not, S calls out "Hey kids, you wanna adopt a sister into our family?" This was met with a rousing cheer from the back.

Now I was really mad! This is not how we normally handle family decisions!

But I was beginning to get excited, too.

After talking about it some more, I agreed to find out more about "Mandy" acknowleding that God was probably calling us to be an advocate for her and help her find a family. When I inquired, we found that Mandy had found her family.

But we both knew that God was doing something in our family, so we began to pray and read scripture, seeking His will. My heart began to be softened and eager to follow wherever God was leading us. But I was still scared. At first, all I could see was my own weaknesses, limitations and inabilities. But day after day of drawing near to God, I found that I was seeing things more from his perspective. And everything changed.

And I do mean everything. Not just my desire to follow his will, no matter what. But the way I looked at my day and my kids and my house and my husband. The further we went on this journey, the more I was throwing off all these things that had hindered me from stepping out in the first place. Worry. Fear. Selfishness. Doubt. Discontentment with what I've been given or how my day goes. All of a sudden things that used to seem such a big deal- a missed nap, a temper tantrum, the flu, potty training, a migraine... they were all things that I could laugh in the midst of. Because, slowly, I was seeing it all through a different lens.

And that lens was Truth. It was the Word that I said I believed and loved but now I would have to live. It was the God I said I trusted but never had I been asked to trust so much... And He was so very patient with me in my doubt. So very gracious to continue to meet me when I asked for Him to show me the way.

I remember specifically one night when I was focusing my thoughts on what others would think of our decision to adopt a child with 'special needs'. I was holding my Bible open again.

"God, this is crazy. Seriously. This is crazy."

And just as clear as day, this is what came to my mind... a patient, gentle voice, but firm...

"Haley, Everything in here is crazy."

And I looked back down at the Bible and thought "Did I hear that right?" So I began to think through all the stories of the Bible I could think of. And it is true. From a human perspective, everything in there is "crazy". Everything.

It was a significant moment for me. Because I knew that I believed it all and God had confirmed it over and over again in my life. So if what was Good and True and Love and the Way of Jesus was "crazy" in the eyes of man, well... then call me crazy.

No comments:

Post a Comment