This blog is a chance for us to tell our story and shine the light on the God who wrote it.

It is also a place for me to bring into the spotlight the millions of orphans around the world who are waiting for the Body of Christ to fulfill God's command to "care for orphans and widows in their distress" (James 1:27)

Soli deo Gloria... (All Glory to God Alone).

7.02.2011

He is With Her... And That is Enough


Our hearts continue to long for little M... Our oldest daughter had her sixth birthday last month. Z is a girl who knows what she wants in life, so when I asked her if there was anything special she would like for a birthday gift I was sure she would have an answer ready. And she did. You know what she said?

“Little M...”

I was taken aback at first, having braced myself to respond if the gift she requested was something we couldn't afford or didn't think she should have. Her request was simple enough. She wanted her little sister home. God is preparing all of our children, and it has been beautiful to watch.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed when I consider that we have missed the first two years of our daughter's life. Wow. So much happens in the first two years of a child's life. I can hardly even stand the thought that we will be away from our other children for two weeks when we go to China to bring Little M home. But two years?! We have missed so much.

But then I am reminded that the One who is bringing her into our family has not missed a thing. He was there when she was born and the day she was given away. He knows what makes her laugh and what makes her cry. He has been by her side for every one of her many hospital stays.

And you know what this realization causes inside of me?

Sweet release.

Because it isn't about me! And the reality is that this is true for every single one of my children. Even the ones that I have parented since birth. Far too often I fall into this thinking that everything about my children's future depends upon my stellar parenting. Which is an awfully heavy weight to bear, considering how much I mess up as a parent. And all that comes from this kind of thinking anyway is 'control- mommy-mode', and nobody wants a piece of that. That's some freaky stuff, y'all.

What I long to learn now, and what these journeys of adoption have been teaching me, is to release my children to their Father every day. To parent out of a place of faith and grace. Faith that God is in control, and He loves these precious little ones far more than I do. Grace to let them be who God created them to be and not burden them with heavy expectations or the worries of a mom who always fears for them.

Don't get me wrong. Just like with our youngest adoptive son, there will always be a heavy sadness there when I think about the time I missed with Little M. I know that there will be a huge learning curve for me to get to know her and understand how to best parent her. But you know what gives me hope? This verse...

“The Lord confides in those who fear him...” (Psalm 25:14)

So I will ask Him to confide in me. I will turn my back on the worries and fears and quiet my heart and wait. I will wait for Him to speak to me. I will ask Him to confide in me about His precious daughter, Little M. I will take all the energy I would have spent worrying and fretting and spend that time praying instead. Teach me, Lord, how to love her and serve her and teach her in a way that she understands.

And I will hang on this promise-

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God,
who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to him.
But when he asks, must believe and not doubt.
Because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea
blown and tossed by the wind.”
(James 1:5-6)

So I will believe. For this is the “work of God”, is it not? To believe. ( John 6:29 ) And just think... as I sit and type, He is actively caring for my sleeping ones here in our home and their little sister on the other side of the world. All at the same time. Let the strivings of Supermom cease. There is someone far more capable.

2 comments:

  1. Hailey,

    Even though I am home with LB, I really needed to read this today. I've been so busy trying to get our home re-organized and re-scheduled for a fifth child that I haven't made time for prayer or spending time in the Word. Boy am I stupid! I find that I'm so exhausted when I do have a break that I just want to rest, but I should be resting in His presence. Thanks for letting God use you. Know that I am praying for your daughter and your family.

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  2. Your articles on We Are Grafted In really have touched my heart as I/we search for God's will for our family. I'm looking forward to #3!
    Thank you for allowing God to use you. I became your newest follower :)

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