This blog is a chance for us to tell our story and shine the light on the God who wrote it.

It is also a place for me to bring into the spotlight the millions of orphans around the world who are waiting for the Body of Christ to fulfill God's command to "care for orphans and widows in their distress" (James 1:27)

Soli deo Gloria... (All Glory to God Alone).

5.25.2013

One Word

Slow.

This was my word.  I'd come across this idea on my favorite blog.  As the New Year began last January I scrapped the idea of making resolutions and asked God to give me a word.  This word would go with me throughout the year to guide me and remind me of where God was leading me.

There was never a question for me what the word would be.  I truly felt in my spirit that this is what God was pressing on my heart.  Actually it frustrated me a bit because it felt so ... lame.  I mean if you're only going to have one word shouldn't it be something profound?  A word that alone makes one want to sit and ponder the depths of what it could mean.

Slow.
Slow?!

But I knew.  I knew what it meant for me.  It was to be an offering to God.  A putting aside of my self-importance, my whirlwind busyness ... a slowing like a sabbath that says I trust Him.  A commitment to live intentionally so that I can see, acknowledge, and glorify Him in all the things I take for granted each day but were always meant to be graces that point me to His loving care.

I had my ideas of what slow looked like, and I thought I was doing a pretty darn good job at it.  We have very few extra cirriculars, I was learning to linger longer with my kids, and I have become very intentional about cutting rushing out of our day.  (Except that now that I think about it my son did tell me not too long ago he felt like I rushed a lot.)

 Well, here it is five months later and let me tell you I am living S.L.O.W.   And I keep thinking, "Lord, when I said slow, this is not what I meant!"

I did not mean stuck in bed slow.  I did not mean walking like an old lady slow.  I did not mean halting nearly all other activities slow.


But then there is this.

 Back in January when I asked God to give me a word that He would like to be my offering to Him this year, I also asked Him for something else.  I asked Him to give me a word that would be His promise to me this year.  And He did.

And He got the much cooler word, by the way.  The one you could sit with for hours and never fully wrap your mind around.  Which is cool with me... He is God.

His promise to me was this- Redemption.

And while I can tell you today what slow looks like for me, I cannot yet tell you what redemption will look like.

But this is what I know.  He will redeem.  He will redeem every hour spent in bed, every ugly sob that I've poured out on that bathroom floor curled up with the nausea and the cold tile, every second I haven't gotten to spend with my kids, every dark moment when I felt alone and scared and out of control, every night I've laid on the couch and longed for the pain to cease so I could sleep.

He. will. redeem. it. all.  For my good and His glory.

This is my hope.  Not just that God worked redemption on that cross when He gave Himself up for us 2,000 years ago (which would be enough).  But that He still redeems.  Still intervenes in our world and gives of Himself to redeem broken dreams, broken hearts, broken relationships and broken bodies.  My hope is in a living and active God, and it is upon His redemption I wait.



"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning."Psalm 130:5-6 







5.24.2013

His Plan. Our Joy. Part Two. The Part I Didn't Want to Write.

When I began this blog Scott and I decided to call it "His Plan.  Our Joy."  
This was a declaration of faith.  
A promise to trust.  

We were walking a new journey, one that felt scary and exciting at the same time. A wonderful adventure called "special needs adoption" that led us toward Mei.

 I wanted a place to tell our story, His story told through us in our little corner of the world.  We would write about His Plan for our family... how it scared us, how we felt ill-equipped for what lie ahead and hence unworthy of being a part of His redeeming work in the life of one of His most precious children.

On these pages I determined to share vulnerably and honestly the story of His Plan for one whom the world sees as "the least of these" yet God values most highly and called us to love most lavishly.

And we would share openly Our Joy.  The joy we have discovered through Christ as we have surrendered more fully to what He wants for our lives.  The joy that so overwhelmed us that we knew it had to be a part of our daughter's name, a way to remember the gift of joy that she is but moreso the gift of joy we found in our Father's presence as we journeyed with Him toward her.  Mei Chara (chara is the greek word found in Scripture meaning joy) has been home over a year and a half now and there is no possible way for me to describe the joy she brings to this world.





When I began this blog I was excited to write about His Plan and Our Joy.

There has been a long silence on our blog, but today I am feeling led to continue writing about His Plan and Our Joy.  This time I am not so excited.
The surrender hasn't really come yet.  Certainly my life right now is not what I had planned.  And yet I am still confident that there is joy to be found right here, however long this season lasts.


For some time now, my health has been declining.  I've had some chronic issues in the past but they would come and go- now it has all come crashing down at once.  Now for well over a month I have had an unrelenting migraine which does not respond to any medication.  Sometimes the pain is overwhelming.  On days when it relents some I am still weak, confused, dizzy ... many days the weakness alone is debilitating.  It is getting worse, not better.  There is still no diagnosis.


I am scared and sad and often lonely.  I fear this is our new normal and that I will never again be the mom and wife I want to be, the person I used to be.


For the past couple of years, I have felt that God has been breaking my heart for what the world deems "the least of these".  I told Him I would sacrifice anything to love and care for the neediest of His children.  (It is actually the big talk in the contemporary Christian world right now, so I've read tons of books on loving the broken and vulnerable.)


Now I am sitting here in my bed in a different position.   It is two o'clock on a Monday and someone else is playing with my kids, someone brought us dinner last night, a cleaning company cleans my house, and a few days ago I lay in a stupor while an ER nurse pumped nine different drugs into my broken body.  I am "the least of these".  (And this is actually not the big talk in the contemporary Christian world right now, so I have not read a single book on how to be "the least of these", how to be the broken and vulnerable.)

Trust me, it is way easier to love the broken than to be the broken.



And one voice whispers to me: "You don't matter anymore cause you can't give anymore".  

And another one whispers: "You've always mattered and now you're going to find out how much you are valued no matter what
 And when you give again ... and you will give again... you will love the broken more like Me because you've been broken just like Me."



I'm going to keep blogging.  And I am going to tell this story, because I still believe it is His Plan and will be Our Joy.
This is a declaration of faith.
A promise to trust.

I will fall short and I will write about it.  While it's happening.  But He will not fall short and I will write about that, too.  And in the end He will be proven to be the same redemptive, loving, faithful God that He has always been.

And in the end, I will be proven to be the same broken and healed, dearly loved girl still standing under that waterfall of grace.

Please pray that I will tell His Story well... Live it well.




"Should we accept only good from God and not adversity?"  Job 2:10

Habakuk 3:17-19