A girl He began speaking to us about almost two years ago. He was relentless. For two years He has whispered into my heart that He had a plan unfolding. That there was a precious girl who needed a family, and when the time came it would be urgent. We would need to act quickly.
I felt like my heart was always a little broken. I had a daughter. Already alive. Living somewhere in this world. But it wasn't time yet.
There were many days when I thought the time would never come. And I wondered if I was crazy all this time to think I could know the voice of God. Or if I was no longer worthy of being the mother of another of His most precious, beloved children.
But He never gave up on me. And He loves his daughters, she and I both, so much. Months go by and always he reminds me of how precious she is to Him, how loving her could be worship of Him. He whispers to my heart that she is extra-special to Him (extra chromosome and all)- one in whom the world finds so little value. But this one... to Him? Hidden there in that innocent smile, are the secrets of the kingdom of God.
Oh, what He sees that we cannot see!
We see broken. He sees purity.
We see burden. He sees joy.
Months go by and always he reminds me of how precious she is to Him, how loving her could be worship of Him. And, oh, how I love Him. How I long to be like Mary, pouring out every last drop in worship. Unashamed of my tears. Uninhibited by fear of what others will think.
So I make a jar. I don't know how long Mary knew she would break that jar and give Jesus her best. How long she had to wait for just that right moment. So I make the jar at a time when it all seems impossible. When I long to just give what He has been storing up in me... showing me what it would look like to worship Him more fully. But feeling like those doors would never open. Or worse- something wrong about me would keep them closed.
I make the jar and I write her name on the bottom. Eden. Eden means delightful. Because she is delightful to Him. And I wait for the day when I can break the jar.
Eden. The way God intended it all to be in the beginning. Where there was no shame and brokenness. And the way He displays His kingdom even now- in what we see as broken and shameful.
But he calls her Eden- and it's here in the precious ones like her that we can see His kingdom coming.
"For God has chosen the foolish things of this world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of this world to shame the things which are strong. " (1 Cor. 1:27)
Eden, we are coming. Your daddy and I can't wait to be your parents forever. It is an honor and a privilege. You are valued. You are loved. You will be delighted in, our Eden.